Stop Writing Paragraphs
I really do things because I'm stubborn.
“Stop writing paragraphs.”
A person with some power and privilege in the circles we occupied said this to me.
While I don’t believe they meant it as a cruelty, it was meant to silence.
This was a handful of years ago, when I was still navigating the world of blogging and finding my voice. I had two options when I was told this. To listen to their ill-advised proposal or to keep searching for the best way to wield the one tool that I hold with some expertise. As you can see, I still write.
I chose to take their suggestion and “stop writing paragraphs,” but…
only if I couldn’t also say those words to someones face.
only if I couldn’t write with conviction.
only if I’m uncertain of the details.
only if I wanted those words connected to me.
So I could not, in fact, stop writing. I am a creative; it is my outlet. I just became less afraid. I explored words carefully. I sought to ensure that my weapon, my tool, my defense, was tailored to produce the language my inner self so craved to speak—in the way it needed to be spoken. In the way that it should be experienced.
I can not pretend to be a wordsmith of any great caliber. I do, however, know that when I am told not to do something that pleases me, my soul experiences it as a challenge. It becomes a question of why you would deign to speak this to me. If the question remains unanswered, I explore the possibilities.
In this instance, I took the statement to reflect that I lacked clarity and nuance in my writing. That my words were not at times clear. That my audience was not always correct.
It was a challenge to learn. A chance to improve. A moment to stand in what I knew was right for me, with enough humility to question how I presented it.
While this was said to silence and prioritize discomfort, I don’t believe it was wholly inaccurate. So now here I type, better for it. Criticism or an opinion given as a command without the appropriate authority can still be a lesson.
Thanks for joining my rambles,
kitty
Hello, dear one!
If you would like to get to know my writing better, please stick around.
But also…
Read The Goddess Awakens as it comes out.
Explore an aromantic love story with me as I write Moonlit Silence.
I do a lot of self-reflection in the Letters To Self series.
Or take a gander at my non-fiction work on Revolution Kitty Extended.